The Art of Leading Coaching & Influencing Others: It’s Not About You!
As a leader, coach, or influencer … when you make yourself the center of attention or the focus … you will fail more times than you win.
Leading – When a leader chooses to be self-centered versus being other-centered, their people sense it … not immediately but eventually. It doesn’t matter how eloquently worded their phrases or gestures are, it is just a matter of time till their true agenda comes to light. The results: the good talent leaves, the poor performers stay, costing thousands of dollars in lost productivity and low morale as others watch the poor performers not be held accountable. In the end, these leaders are seen as inauthentic, insincere, and untrustworthy and people don’t follow leaders they don’t trust!
Coaching – When you are Coaching someone else through an issue and you make it about you (sharing what you would do or what you have done), you are simply giving your opinion. In the world of Coaching your opinion matters far less than what the employee thinks or believes. As a Coach, it is not your job to solve your people’s problems … it is your job to help them to see the obstacles they are placing in the way of their progress and success and then ask them what actions they might take to move forward. You can’t do that while pontificating and sharing all your infinite wisdom. If that’s what you want to do … call it what it is … advice giving … it’s not coaching!
Influencing – When you are attempting to Influence others and your focus is on you or is all about you, your needs, and wants … it is not called influence … it is called manipulation. The difference between manipulation and influence is found in the intention. The idea here is not that you throw yourself on the mercy and the whims of the other person or group of people. The idea is that you first seek to help them get their needs met and in return you will get your needs met. For example: when you are facilitating a group discussion you must first ask questions so you can get a sense of the groups beliefs, opinions, & thoughts so that you can help them uncover solutions they believe will work. That is Influence!
No matter whether you’re Leading, Coaching, or Influencing Others, whenever you make it all about you, your chances of succeeding diminish greatly.
Oh sure, you may win a few battles, but in the end you lose your effectiveness as a leader.
Remember the definition of a leader: a person who influences others to do or be their best !
Focus on that … and you will become your very best!