Are You in Alignment With Your Core Values?
There are times in life when we must lose something or someone in order to help us gain clarity on what we value most in life. One way to prevent this from happening is to periodically do a core values realignment.
A core values realignment is when we take an inventory of our actions and what we do to make sure they are consistent with our beliefs, what we think, and what we value most in life. It is an audit of sorts to make sure we are living in integrity with ourselves.
If I asked you to write down the 5 things you value most in life…what would be on your list?
If I then asked you how much time and attention you devote to those things or people on your list…what would you say?
A) More-than-enough. B) Enough. C) Not-enough. D) Not as much as I should.
Yes, I know we all have areas to improve on when it comes to how we spend our time and with whom we spend our time. And yet…
A Definite Core Values Misalignment
I once worked with an Executive Leader who told me that his family was the highest priority on his list. I then asked him how many hours he spent working each week. “I average about 65-70 hours per week, more during tax season” He proudly replied. “Doesn’t leave a lot of time for your family does it?” I asked. “But Joe, you don’t understand, I do it for THEM so they can have a better life!”
After a little digging and a few more questions, a deeper truth was revealed. He loved to work, he loved his clients, and loved making money! He also mentioned the sense of value and accomplishment he felt from doing great work. But more important than all of those things he said (with a tear in the corner of his eye) was the deep love he had for his family.
BINGO! He then realized that choosing to work crazy hours but consistently missing your daughter’s soccer games and family dinners was a total core values misalignment. His actions were incongruent with what he valued most in life and that it was time for a realignment, before it was too late.
Saying the Right Thing
Sometimes when I ask someone about their core values, it seems like it is easy to say the right thing. It is easy to say what you think you’re supposed to say or what the other person wants to hear. Anything that gives the perceptions that we are a good parent, boss, person, spouse, partner, etc.
Their intentions are noble. But what happens over time is that the demands of life can draw us away from what really matters most.
It doesn’t happen immediately, it happens eventually. Some times we don’t wake up to this phenomenon until we get woken up, and sometimes quite rudely. We experience pain, the loss of something, or someone and then we realize that we have a core values misalignment!
When we live out’ve alignment with our values it is just a matter of time before we experience stress, frustration, depression, or an overall dis-ease.
3 Core Values Based Questions…
If you were to look at where you spend your time, energy, and resources:
- Are you spending it with the people and things you value most?
- If not, do you need to realign your time and energy with your values?
- Is it possible that it is time to shift your values so that they align with how you spend your time and energy?
Please know that this blog is not about shaming, blaming, or telling anyone they are good, bad, right or wrong.
This is about making sure that you are living the life you want. It’s about integrity and making sure that what you say you value is congruent with how you live your life and the decisions you make.
And this is important because why?????
Because you never want to wake up and find that the person or thing that you say you value most in life is gone!
Nor do you want to wake up and realize that the person that has disappeared is you! Because you have been living a life in misalignment with what really matters most!
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Here’s a quiz that might help you uncover your core values: Click here